Unpaved

I’m on my way

I’m right around the corner

Give me sometime

You know, you gotta consider the traffic

And road detours

And unforeseen accidents

But I’m on my way

Give me sometime

The road is blocked

Shit

I have to take the back road

But I’m on my way

Give me sometime

I’m getting there

Fuck

I just caught a flat

What do you do?

Guess I’ll wait

Wait for what?

What are you waiting for?

Nobody’s out here to help me

Let me do it myself

Nobody’s gonna do it for me

That’ll do for now

Just to get to where I’m going

Where am I going again?

Wherever I’m going

I’m on my way

Give me sometime

I’m right around the corner

-BRI.V.M.

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Times Like This

There are times like this you wanna do any and everything

Times like this you feel so powerful

There are times like this you feel so alive

Times like this no one can tell you shit

There are times like this you got the world in one hand

Times like this you know you can save the world

There are times like this you cry from the joy you feel

Times like this everything is ok

There are times like this when you know yourself

Times like this

Confronting Myself

Now that I think back on my high school years, especially my junior year, I realized I was dealing with some heavy stuff. I was barely getting my work done, the majority of the time I was anxious for no apparent reason, and I was extremely insecure. It was as if I was in a trance-like state. Physically, I was present. Mentally, I wasn’t. My mom chalked it up to be a problem with my thyroid or perhaps a vitamin deficiency. She took me to the doctor, I got my blood drawn, a couple of weeks later I received my results…nothing. My thyroid was in perfect condition and I was getting enough vitamins. It didn’t make sense. WTF was wrong with me?!

Now fast forward almost 4 years later, and everything makes sense. Most likely I was dealing with anxiety and depression. And that’s a scary thought, because I know I’m still dealing with those emotions, but just to a lesser extent. Now I recognize the signs. I can sense those moments when I’m slowly approaching a breakdown. It’s hard but I always manage to get through it, one way or another.

BRI.V.M.

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Thoughts of a 20-year Old

AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?

WHERE WILL I BE?

and the most important question of all:

WHAT. THE. FUCK. AM. I. DOING?

These questions consume my mind weekly. At times I feel inadequate. Because at times it seems as if I’m just not “there” yet – whatever “there” means. Perhaps this is due to the fact that there is pressure to achieve and do things by a certain age. It’s this condescending statement that always gets under my skin, “Well you’re [insert age] years old now” so basically you need to have your shit together. Well guess fucking what?! I don’t, not like you want me to have my shit together. I’m still learning and figuring shit out. There’s so much pressure to get “there” but I’ve realized that “there” is only a concept. There’s no such thing. Everyone moves at their own pace, lives their own lives, and does what the hell they want to do. It comes a time where you have to realize you are the one that is living your life, no one else. Take those outside opinions with a grain of salt and make sure you’re in tune with the star player in your life – yourself.

BRI.V.M.

Once You Realize How Far You’ve Come

You’ll start to realize how much you’ve grown. How much you’ve changed for the better. You’ll begin to realize your worth. And now that you look back on how you used to be – all the doubts and insecurities that consumed your mind day in and day out– you realize everything makes sense. It wasn’t time yet. There was no need to rush past all those insecurities and doubts because as of today, you are where you need to be. And you were where you needed to be those three years ago. And you will remember that you’ve come so far and only you will know how much you’ve grown. Nobody can tell you shit because only you know.

Bri.V.M.

Time…Where The Hell Does It Go?

Time really does escape you.  Everything up to this point has been somewhat of a blur. Everything has led up to this very moment. And then this moment will slip away like the others. And then you’re left with the ultimate question “well…what the fuck happened?” Sometimes I want these moments to last a little longer, for them to never escape. I can’t understand it. I can’t grasp it…literally.

Bri.V.M.